You’ll Change – 33 Years Later

On January 26, 2025 my short film You’ll Change turns 33 years old. Not the film specifically, actually the star of the film, although she never appears in it, my daughter Fiona. The film is about her

Jan 21, 2025

I want to thank my buddy Jim Fields for reminding me that I should write about my older films. You can find Jim on Substack at https://substack.com/profile/12988413-jim-fields?utm_source=global-search

Please look him up and if you love films then you should follow him.

On January 26, 2025 my short film You’ll Change turns 33 years old. Not the film specifically, actually the star of the film, although she never appears in it, my daughter Fiona. The film is about her impending birth.

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In late 1991 I was thirty-five years old, a struggling, working Independent Filmmaker and preparing to be a new father. Naturally a lot of my friends were predicting that my entire life and career were going to come to a screaming halt because I was about to become a father. They were intent on telling me all the ways my life was going to change. I was no longer going to have time to myself and worse yet, I would have to quit freelancing and actually get a real job! GASP!

I got so tired of listening to them that I wrote this short film based on what everyone was telling me, and put it out in the world.

At the time I worked as an Editor and Sound Designer on a lot of feature films, and made two films of my own. One was a 60 minute documentary on the criminal justice system. The other, a short film about an old car that I owned.

At this point neither of my other films were making much money, although the film about my old car had recently aired nationally on PBS, which is another story for another time.

I shot You’ll Change in a single day with a professional crew, who all just happened to be friends of mine. Since it was an off day for them and they thought the idea was funny, they all agreed to do it as long as I bought lunch and snacks. Which was about all I could afford. We piled into a single car that I borrowed for the shoot. That way no one got lost going from location to location.

We had seven locations, most of them were close together. I made sure that four of the locations were outdoors, as it was easier to light. We shot 800 feet of 16mm film that was all left over from another job so I only had to pay for processing and printing it. I did all of the editing and post sound sound myself. My friend Wayne, who is in the film, did the sound mix late one night in the studio where he worked. I even cut the negative for the prints that were eventually made.

And now, all these years later with my daughter turning 33 and my granddaughter turning 5 next month, I have to ask myself, “Did I change?”. What effect did fatherhood have on me? Did I end up doing any of the things my friends warned me about?

Of course I changed in many ways. In the beginning I didn’t want to have kids. I was much more concerned about being an artist. I felt I was too young, and I’d be a horrible role model. I also didn’t want to give up my freedom.

The first change happened immediately upon Fiona arriving into the world. I looked down at this tiny baby and fell head over heels in love, which is what you’re supposed to do, or so I had been told.

Among the sentiments behind a few of the comments was, I would no longer have time for myself and would have to get a “regular job”. I am happy to report that I never did get a regular job, whatever that might be. I did make time for myself by getting up earlier and working later after she went to bed.

The thing I’m most proud of is, I brought Fiona into my world. She knew all of my friends, we attended plays, concerts, art openings, and she even spent a few weeks on the road with me touring when she was fifteen.

I still did the things that I was expected to do as a dad, school stuff, birthday parties, and sleepovers. I flew home for every Father-Daughter Dance, and had her join me for fun weekends when I was working out of town(Can you say Disneyland, or Universal Studios Tour?).

Since I had joint custody, when she was with me she had my undivided attention. We had lots of cool adventures and being self-employed I could take a day or two off in the middle of the week so we could do stuff.

If you were to ask Fiona if I have changed, her response would be, “Oh hell no! I know my Dad and I believe he has always been like this.”

It’s been a wild 33 years and it’s not over yet as I now have an almost 5 year old granddaughter that I get to have adventures with as well.

On a different note, You’ll Change was the film that catapulted my career. This film appeared on PBS, Canadian and Australian Television, and screened at film festivals around the world. It was the second of seven personal short films which established me as an Independent Filmmaker.

For a lot of reasons this film is really special to me.

Happy Birthday Fiona! It’s been a great ride.

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You can stream my films at https://angryfilmmaker.com/all/films